He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
