Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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