why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
