Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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