Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
