Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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