I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
