I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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