Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
smell my finger.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
