U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
