He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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