All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
