It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
