A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
did i walk over a car last night?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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