WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have post one night stand depression
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
