I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
