He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
