he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
