i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
