If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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