I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
