My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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