No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
