I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
