let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
