she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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