apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
