It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
