put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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