I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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