All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
