I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
