At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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