wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
