I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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