good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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