so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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