We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
