the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
