The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We are two peas in an std pod
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
