someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
