tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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