There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
