had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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