DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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