For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
