Do you still have your period?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
