then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
