Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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