Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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