I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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