i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
