Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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