I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
my poor anus
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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