Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
They took my balls.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
