worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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