I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I could fuck to npr.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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