he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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