it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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