great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You're like the curious george of whores
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
